The postpartum struggle

November 14, 2020

I wanted to discuss postpartum because while postpartum depression is talked about often I don’t feel that other aspects of it are talked about as much. I remember when I was pregnant with my first child and feeling like something was wrong with me because I did not absolutely love being pregnant. My entire life leading up to pregnancy I’d only heard women talk about how it was the best time of their lives and how much they loved being pregnant. I even heard someone say that if they could be pregnant forever but not have to actually have that many children they would do it. What?! That is complete craziness to me and I’ve come to realize that that is okay and that I am not alone!

After having kids your world now revolves around a tiny human that depends 100% on you and your significant other. Looking back now though to those first moments after giving birth I’ve begun to notice areas that I struggled or recognize aspects of motherhood that I wish were discussed more. I was speaking with some friends recently about the struggles of motherhood and postpartum that we wish were discussed more and we all seemed to have similar feelings. I think it’s extremely important to discuss all aspects of childbirth, postpartum, parenting and not just the joyous “instagram life” that’s often seen.

The first thing that I always wished was talked about more was that pregnancy can be extremely scary and it’s completely okay and normal to not love it! I struggled with stress and worrying that something would go wrong during both of my pregnancies. My anxiety levels were definitely heightened and I remember feeling that something was wrong with me for always being so worried but once I talked to my friends about it it seemed to be the consensus that we all felt that way! Why is this not expressed more?

Another thing that we all wished we knew prior was the feeling of loneliness or feeling left out after having kids. Here you are with this beautiful child with you at all times and yet it can be extremely isolating. Your world gets turned upside down after kids, you go from only being responsible for yourself and being able to make decisions on a whim to often times being stuck home with a baby sometimes by yourself. Finding the balance between being mom and being “ourselves” is difficult. I’m four years out from having my first child and only recently have I felt that I’m able to find somewhat of a balance.

Stress, anxiety, loneliness, happiness, joy, sleep deprivation, love are all very real emotions and experiences that occur after having children but I often feel that the positive views are what is presented. The postpartum struggle is such a real thing and should be talked about openly. It’s common to hear to seek professional help if you’re struggling with depression but what about everything else? I think that it is so important to discuss these aspects of having kids more openly. It’s tough, it’s lonely, it’s exciting, it’s joyful, it’s stressful, but, it’s completely worth it. Finding a balance that works for you and your family and speaking to friends or family about these feelings can be extremely helpful. However if you’re struggle has become too difficult to handle then seeking professional help is best. Speak to your doctor or contact your insurance for referrals to a medical professional.

xxMJB

November 14, 2020 – Lifestyle


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